Ylvis – Someone Like Me

Excuse me, miss
but do you like the dubstep?

May I present to you Ylvis, the Lonely Island of Norway (though apparently they were in the business years before than the Dudes). Ylvis is actually two people, brothers Bard & Vegard Ylvisaker (with IPA symbols I am too lazy to look for)—both are hilarious, extremely good-looking, have funny accents that manage to sound sexy, and can actually sing. The blond angel singing in this genius piece of musical + dubstep is Bard, and your ears are testament to the fact that the boy has got some serious singing talent. The lady with the beautiful voice I am not entirely familiar with, though her face does resemble WIllem Dafoe’s (I don’t mean to insult! Willem Dafoe is a very handsome man!). I will probably never get tired of this video, since I have already dipped a toe into the realm of dubstep some time ago and reluctantly embraced it. This video  + song, however, is a total game changer, and I am seriously considering listening to more dubstep in the future, because I now recognize it more as a genre than a subject of online ridicule.

My horizons widen and broaden again, thanks to Swatdojo and Ylvis.


[audio http://a.tumblr.com/tumblr_mlua03RFzo1rikadmo1.mp3]
and never walk about, after dark

it’s my point of view
’cause someone could break your neck 
coming up behind you always coming and you’d never have a clue

and now I’m left behind, all the time 
I will wait forever
always looking straight 
thinking, counting, all the hours you wait 

it’s hard to understand 
’cause when you’re running by yourself 
it’s hard to find someone to hold your hand 

and now it’s gonna be tough for me 
but I will wait forever 
I need someone now 
to look into my eyes and tell me 
girl you know you’ve got to watch your health 

to look into my eyes and tell me 
la la la la la 

I see you on a dark night
—”Oblivion” by Grimes

In Which Dave Franco Fucks Himself, Et Cetera

I am in love with this boy and I have the weirdest lady-boner right now.

I first noticed him in 21 Jump Street. Later, I found out he was also in Superbad, and recently in Now You See Me. One thing these films have in common is that all of them have the Seth/Jonah/Michael/Jesse thing going on, either in whole or in part. Another is that I fucking love these movies. And another is that I fucking love these boys (except maybe Danny McBride). No wonder I liked this Franco the moment I noticed him (because I didn’t, not right away). And now I find that he is a gorgeous human being with the same sense of humour I loved in Seth Rogen et al. Plus—and I never thought I’d say this about anyone without wanting to throw myself off a bridge—he has a killer smile. I swear it, his smile is the first one I would concede to calling killer. I’ve never seen a smile as charming and disarming as his (not even Johnny Depp? No, not even.)

This is a Funny Or Die video, mind you, so don’t take it seriously. He does a lot of these, apparently, with Christopher Mintz Plasse (more commonly known as McLovin, and is also extremely hot); more than a few with running themes of homosexuality, all of them hilarious. I am also slain by Jay Baruchel, who seems to be more similar to Mintz Plasse than Franco in that they are both geeky- and gawky-looking and totally smokin’.

All of these feelings were brought about by This Is The End. It was nowhere near as good as Superbad, but I laughed myself to tears just the same because it was all so damn stupid. And all of them (except Danny McBride) so damn HOT. So yeah, blame the funny guys for setting alight my female hormones, and Funny Or Die for making videos with Dave Franco and sex in them.

As a parting gift, here’s a video of Dave Franco and Chris Mintz Plasse trying to make each other horny in the middle of a field.

[audio http://a.tumblr.com/tumblr_mj2cgudddm1qeb7yto1.mp3]
tell me a piece of your history 
that you’re proud to call your own
speak in words you picked up 
as you walked through life alone

we used to swim in your stories 
and be pulled down by their tide
choking on the words 
and drowning with no air inside

it is not enough to be dumbstruck
can you fill the silence?
you must have the words in that head of yours
—”The Silence” by Bastille