A Wishlist; Because I Am Human, After All.

Fuck yes Daft Punk reference in the title 8|

Also because it’s my birthday today! Yaaa—no. I’m not really into the idea of making a birthday a big deal; hell, I spent my eighteenth in this same room, in this same boarding house, poring over fanfiction while eating in front of the laptop & huddled under blankets. A year has passed since, and here I am doing the exact same things. The only difference is, today I’m a year older. There’s really no need to make a fuss about just another year.

Here’s a list of the few things that I would want for my birthday, just in case there’s anyone in the world who cares enough to get them for me. They’re mostly simple things that a normal person going to the mall or the market could get for hirself, but it’s no secret that I am not normal. See, I have a fear of store people. When I go to the market, I have this thing where I kind of have to separate my consciousness from myself and let this other do the asking (and even this other is brisk about the business, wanting it done ASAP). So even these simple and normal things I can’t get for myself; that’s why I’m hoping somebody I know gets to read this and heeds my prayers uhuhu.

Digressions aside, here it is:


• new earphones.
– because the left ear of the pair I bought just this June has bit the dust, and I am super sad about it because it took me a few rounds around the mall just to man up and enter the shop to get it and now it’s broken and it’s too soon

• new big hardbound journal, preferably black
– the one I’m using now is my old diary King Jeremy; he still had a few pages left over, but they’re about to run out, and Matty is too petite to hold my poetry, if or when it comes back.

• a Chuck Palahniuk or a Haruki Murakami book.
– mostly because of the Fight Club movie, but also because Palahniuk is too fucking awesome and his violence in images is one of the best kinds of violence I’ve read from any author; and, because Murakami read as an ebook is sacrilege.

• a file case, preferably white
– academic readings are delicate creatures; they have needs, especially when they’re as thick as three of your fingers

• new pens, ballpoint & sign
– because I lost a good pen a few days ago, and somehow I always run out of pens

• a black hoodie sweater, preferably used and cheap
– worn black hoodies are the best, they’re so comfy and it doesn’t matter if you look like a hobo because that’s the whole point of the thing, and you can wear it over anything

• black flats or doll shoes, unembellished.
– because I too am a girl MEHEHE but yeah I guess the jeans-and-sneaks thing gets too routine sometimes

• a bigger corkboard, & more pins.

• hiking/travel backpack, preferably black, cheap, & sturdy
– because I live in the mountains and my canvas high school backpack needs to rest

• new eyeglasses
– uh, more of a need than a want, really

As you can see, I don’t like expensive things; I just want them functional. Still, it took me a few hours to think up that short list, and it still seems like a lot to ask (especially the books). Well, it doesn’t matter; nobody will get these for me anyway, except maybe my family. And if they did, they sure as hell won’t get everything in the list; they’ll probably choose the easiest one.. Or worse, just give me money and tell me to get them for myself. NOOOOOOO

Happy birthday, self! You’re 19 now, so you better toughen the fuck up, you little shit! Keep on laughing at everyone, and don’t sweat the small stuff.

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