Putangina will you stop being such a poser?

Putangina will you stop being such a poser? I understand that you don’t really have much of a personality to begin with (a fact that thus could explain your current hobby and my endless rage regarding it) pero pukinangina p’re it’s pissing me off big time that you suddenly are a raging gun-toting bull full of swagger but apparently sensitive inside and really deep and insightful. I don’t know why you had to adapt this kind of temperament and not the hipster flowery-dress blackout poet I was expecting you’d go for. I sure hope it’s not because of me, or because we recently talked and I poured myself out in front of you and you nodded savagely like a hound dog on the dashboard of an all-terrain vehicle, because if it is then it’s entirely my fault and I’d have only myself to blame. Buti sana if we hadn’t come into contact with each other around the times that you–ahem-“transformed”, eh kaso hinde e. I think I’m the only person you met in that span of time that would be able to influence you like that. Hell, I don’t think you’d meet anyone who could influence you the way I did. Malas ko lang siguro at sobrang adaptive/absorbent (inggitera? but maybe you can’t help it) mo. Sana lang you find your niche in the world of emotions, because if you don’t I’m gonna have to fucking kick you out because this is my territory. I am the avatar of angst, and sensitive rage is my cake. Go get your own emotional identity, bitch.

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