Numbered Because Transitions Take Up Too Much Space

A long-as-fuck digest, because I don’t really have anyone to tell these things to (well, not anyone who’d actually listen instead of turning every topic back to themselves or fiddling with their phones when I speak)

1. I’ve been focusing on poetry lately. I don’t even write it properly; mostly I rip off freestyle & other kinds of poetry I see anywhere. I have no formal training, and consequently no idea what I’m doing most of the time. I like the ebb and flow of words when I write and say them out loud, though. And the imagery in poetry is singular; it’s like a gleaming sapphire set in tar under a blazing sun.

2. A few people (including some of my friends) have suddenly become angry, world-weary souls after talking to me. What is this effect I have on other people? And what’s worse is they try to pass it off as “I’m normally like this” when I know for a fact that they were spineless braindead fucks (pardon the french) as recent as a month ago. It’s perplexing; it’s like I’m becoming toxic again, but this time the people I’m poisoning are actually enjoying it, and even go around flaunting it as their own innovations. Well, maybe they should; rage is better than nothing. Still, a little acknowledgement would go a long way. Just sayin’.

3. I don’t write stories anymore. Why am I not writing more stories

4.  I don’t think I’ll be able to go through with the Musician of the Day series. It’s not that there are too few artists that I am familiar with (but that may also be true); it’s mostly because I can’t think of anything to say about these artists that haven’t already been said in interviews by no less than themselves. I thought for a while that I could write about how they changed my life and what song of theirs got me into them, but  for some musicians that would take about 10 pages and a lot of crying. It does sound plausible, though. So yes, maybe I’ll think about it some more and finally come up with a decision by the end of this week. Other options I’ve been considering are: Album of the Week, and Song of the Day. I just–I have to write about music. It’s the least I could do to return the favour it did my life.

5. I am going to buy myself some grass. I’ve tried it twice in my life, and I liked it; it was what I would presume a slightly speeding carousel would feel like, but while sitting on planks instead of booths. I’m not entirely done rationalizing this decision with myself, but I remember the reason being some sort of plea to my dwindling creative fire. So far, I’m buying it. And I’m buying that, too.

6. My tags and categories are crazy. I need to get my shit together, my life is such a mess, I’m a wreck. Lol kidding

7. Only now did I realize that I only have three or so friends who actually listen and don’t talk about themselves all the goddamn time. It’s crazy; and here I thought I was an awfully self-centered person! Turns out, these fuckers are maybe five times worse! Whew, that’s a load off my back

Well, I guess that’s about it. Going back to writing more shitty poetry and taking shitty pictures of things and listening to exceptional beautiful music, brb

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